I can't believe it's not milk... Umm...

While not a vegan, I do find the whole concept of drinking milk to be a bit vile. I’m lactose intolerant so maybe I should explore alternatives, but unless I overdo things I am usually okay. However while I am perfectly happy to use soya, rice or oat milk etc on cereal, I have yet to find anything that has the same mouthfeel in coffee as moo juice.

I decided to perform my own highly unscientific trial of alternatives available and how they fair in my beverage of choice. As a disclaimer all of the products mentioned below taste perfectly okay straight out of the container, my main criteria for voting is purely based on how they perform in coffee and whether the end result is to my own personal liking.

Here I present my preliminary findings of this ongoing taste test...

Koko dairy free coconut based milk alternative One of the problems I've had in the past with using soya milk in coffee is that once diluted in a hot drink it goes a bit watery. As coconut is so high in fat I thought I'd be onto a winner with this one. However delicious as it may be, it became thin and wishy washy on addition to my coffee, so nope.

Alpro soya my usual soya milk for other purposes, tastes nice and creamy. While it has that typical soya taste in coffee it does give the drink a satisfying creaminess. However… a bizarre gloopy sediment remained in my cup which increased exponentially as the day went on (I'm lazy okay? It's much easier just topping up than washing out a cup every time). Slightly worrying and a more than a bit nasty. Unfortunately no photographic evidence of the sediment, you'll just have to take my word for it.

Coop organic soya milk I had assumed that all soya milk was the same. However this one seemed to produce far less of the gloopy cheese-like sediment. Main drawbacks were extreme frothing and a tendency to separate on standing, and if you forgot to shake the container before using it the end result was not pretty. So far my favourite and a reasonable facsimile of milk.

Update – on opening a new carton, the separating out problem proved to be a regular occurrence despite vigorous shaking. Coffee became undrinkable. And it takes an awful lot to make me throw out a cup of coffee…

Almond milk Oh sweet Lord this must be what evil tastes like! Now, don't get me wrong, I love almonds, though on tasting the almond milk before adding it to coffee I had an inkling that all would not be well. Pleasant enough, but with a slightly cyanide-y aftertaste. Hmm… Once in coffee and the overwhelming flavour is burned something or other (charcoal briquettes maybe?) With added cyanide. Plus it separates out into a rather alarming crazy paving effect on the top of the cup. Not pleasant. 

Oat Milk  I was hoping for great things with this one, if you've ever soaked oats in water and poured the liquid in your bath then you'll know that the resulting emulsion does indeed look milky. But does it taste milky? And what happens if you pour it in a nice mug of hot coffee?

Well… the initial appearance looked promising, a nice milky coffee look, however in the time it took to walk from the kitchen to my office (~1 minute) it had started to separate out giving that "oops the milk’s gone off" look. On standing, more unusual happenings took place, the mixture appeared to move, forming random shapes and pictures on the top of the cup. Quite hypnotic actually...

As a tree turned into a whale, a colleague pointed out that there could be potential fortune telling opportunities in it. Fortune telling aside, what did it taste of? Vileness. Alas another one for the 'no way Jose' pile.

Rice Milk Rice milk is a staple in my cupboards as it's ideal to have handy when the urge to whip up a batch of horchada beckons. Pouring it out, the almost translucent effect was not promising, it barely diluted the colour of my coffee and despite vigorous shaking there was a thin layer of clear liquid floating on top of my cup and a slight oil slick-like sheen.

End result in coffee? Hmm… scary. The texture is watery and very unpleasant, the actual taste is okay without the bitter aftertaste of soya, but I'm not sure it's something I could get used to, plus it’s a bit too close to milk of magnesia for comfort. On the plus side, no gloopy weirdness or separating out…

Hazelnut milk A curious one. Pouring into a glass its beige colour is a little disconcerting, and it was pointed out that this is sold as a ‘Hazelnut drink’ rather than milk, so how would it behave in coffee? Drinking the milk by itself I noted a strong hazelnut flavour and a sweet taste, not unpleasant. In coffee I have to say the physical appearance was very convincing...

No separation, crazy paving effect or oil slick… And the taste? Oh wow! Creamy beautiful hazelnut coffee, the milk effect was very convincing and there was no unpleasant residue at the bottom of my mug. Only drawback I can think of is that it feels more like a ‘special occasion’ luxury drink rather than an everyday milk substitute. I did check the calorie content to see how it compares with semi skimmed moo juice, and surprisingly it has less calories and fat per 100mls. I'm not sure if it would take over from milk, as I kind of like coffee flavoured coffee, but I have to say I was impressed.

So... results? These preliminary findings still have soya out ahead, purely for the texture you get in a hot drink. For the next round of voting I'll have to compare the various supermarket brands... Stay tuned!